Megan and Scott, Twenty Years of Love, and Wedding Etiquette

Twenty years is a long time... think about your life twenty years ago or maybe try to predict where you will be twenty years from now. It's hard to do that, there are so many variables that make life unpredictable. Megan and Scott have known at least one constant over the course of the last 19 years and on their 20th anniversary as a couple, they will be tying the knot.

An intimate, formal wedding will mark their 20th anniversary as they celebrate their past and look forward to the future. In order to keep their guest list small (and the feel a bit more formal) they've decided not to invite kids. This is one of many ways to keep the guest list more private and the budget more cost-friendly. Plus, smaller guest lists call for more intimate venues to really make your event special. Megan and Scott have chosen the beautiful Gates of Heaven on the edge of Lake Mendota. This historic Madison-proper synagogue has been restored and maintained by Madison's parks department as an events venue. 

You may be thinking, what's the etiquette around not inviting kids to my wedding? How are my guests going to react to that request? And most importantly, how do I tell them? These are tough questions but the thing to remember is that your guests are coming to celebrate you two as a couple to help you start your married life together. Hopefully, it is clear to them that you are not trying to put them out, but rather, create a special atmosphere for your big day. 

Below are a several recommendations for communicating your adults-only request to guests:

  1. Make sure to only address invitations to the actual guests invited. Don't address your invitation to "The Smith Family" if only "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" are invited. Also, try to include an "Adults-only reception" tag in the corner of your invitation if possible.
  2. Update your wedding website to reflect those general guest-list details. A note that reads: "The reception will be adults-only" in a public place will go a long way. This is also a good place for details about dress code.
  3. Never underestimate the power of word-of-mouth. If your close family knows that you're having an adults-only reception, whenever they have conversations about your event, they will help spread the word informally.
  4. If you have out-of-town guests and you want to be extra accommodating, think about hiring a babysitter to watch kids during the event to make sure adults can relax knowing their child is being taken care of close by.

Ultimately, you will want to read your families and determine the best way to communicate sensitive details. If you have wedding etiquette questions, or want to know how to navigate a tricky situation, reach out to me personally via phone or email, I'd be happy to talk through any questions you may have.